Let’s talk about Faith (03/31/20)

Let’s talk about Faith.

I identify as a Christian. I don’t really talk much about it in person for reasons I don’t feel the need to get into right now, but I grew up in a Christian family and have been one myself since I was five. While fellow Christians may connect more with what I’m going to say, this post is for everyone, so please don’t let its religious connotation deter you.

The reason I want to discuss faith in this specific time is because there are 2 aspects of my life that I feel are very relevant right now, and they are both based on a single verse from the Bible.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6

So, the first thing I want to discuss is trust. Over the last several years now, God has been teaching me how to trust Him, and it has not been easy. Ever since leaving the comfort of doing Security work as a full time job, I have faced countless times when I had a bill coming up and I simply didn’t have the money. On top of that, I got myself into crippling debt that has been looming over me ever since. So, needless to say, there was a huge source of stress in my life. Any time I started to worry or felt overwhelmed by my financial situation, I would ask God for help.

Now, hearing God’s voice is very hard to describe to someone. It’s not the same as having a conversation with yourself in your head. It’s not hearing words in your ears, or going into a trance. He speaks directly to my heart, and it’s kind of like music. The same way you can listen to a song and it affects your mood, when I hear from God it’s on an emotional level.

So, every time I would ask God for help, he would start by simply giving me peace. He would remind me that He is in control, and He loves me. Those 2 aspects of God never cease to amaze me. He is in control, and He loves me. Over the years, I have come to realize that when I am freaking out about something, it’s because I am questioning one of those two truths. God, are you able to provide? God, do you love me enough to provide? The answer is always yes. The answer has always been yes. Every single time I needed money by a certain time, God would provide. Sometimes a bill would be due in 2 days and I would get a call for a job the next day that paid cash at wrap.

Ever so slowly I started trusting Him to provide, and he never once failed… until He did. See the amazing thing about God is that He teaches us lessons based on where we are right now. He guides us and nurtures us as we get to know Him. Had He not provided all those times before, I may have gotten desperate and done something stupid because I wasn’t trusting Him. I can’t really know. But once I got to the point where I truly trusted Him, He allowed me to miss several due dates. I started getting more and more concerned as the days dragged on and no one was calling. I kept asking God to provide and He just kept saying, “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.”

Then the thing happened that I had spent so much time worrying about, and you know what? I was fine. No one kicked in my door demanding payment, my car didn’t get towed, nor did my phone get shut off. Life just kept on going. So, it took me going through what I thought would be terrible to realize I had been dreading it for no good reason. Then, immediately after that experience, I got three and a half straight months of work, allowing me to pay off 3 of my debts and have enough left over to cover an entire month of bills.

God is able to provide, and God loves you. But the thing I’ve been learning about God is, He doesn’t want you to trust Him to do something. He just wants you to trust Him.

Imagine a dad teaching his son to swim, and the dad is in the pool and tells the son to jump in. If the son is only trusting the dad to keep his head above water, he may jump in and start floundering and feel like the dad failed him. But the dad just said to jump in, not, “Jump in and I’ll keep your head above water.” That dad is right there the whole time though, making sure that as his son is learning to swim, he won’t let him drown.

The second topic I want to discuss is loneliness. We’re in a quarantine and a lot of people are feeling lonely. I’m a hard core introvert, and I could really use a hug. Even people with family members can feel lonely, sometimes even more so.

Take that pain to God.

I have been single my whole life, and there have been so many times that I want nothing more than to be in a relationship. I want someone to love, and to be loved in return… And sex.

Here’s the crazy part. That void you feel in your soul is a space that God is able and willing to fill. “Aw, come on, Pastor Philip…” First off, don’t call me Pastor. But seriously, think of it this way:

Every emotion you have is because God created you to have that emotion. He knows exactly how you feel, what you feel, and why you feel it. When you talk to God and you tell Him how you’re feeling and you ask Him to fill that void, He will comfort you. He may allow you to feel His presence, or He may show you why you’re actually feeling the way you do.

For example: Often times, when I am really wanting a girlfriend, it’s really because I am picturing a beautiful girl to keep me company and laugh and make me feel awesome. So, what if, in that moment, I had a girlfriend, but she was angry with me? What if she’s off in the other room processing something and doesn’t want to talk to me? I would feel just as bad if not worse than I do in that moment with no girlfriend. So, I ask God, “What is it I really want right now?” “What is this void I’m feeling?” Sometimes the answer is validation, sometimes it’s not feeling valued, sometimes it’s just wanting to talk to someone who understands. So, I ask God to fill the void, and He fills it with intimacy. He fills it with compassion. He fills it with peace. God is more than capable of making you feel the emotions that you are craving, and He wants to fellowship with you. He wants you to spend time with Him. He wants you to get to know Him.

He will not leave you nor forsake you.

Last thing, be honest with God. Be brutally honest. He already knows how you feel and why. Just vent all your frustration at Him. I promise you He won’t be offended.

When I was a Security Supervisor, for a time, I had a horrible boss that wanted me to be super strict with all the officers under my command. I hated it and I was miserable at work. So, I was down at the loading dock having a smoke, and I was praying and it was something like, “God, I ask you for strength and wisdom. Please help me to endure…” and I heard God say, “Stop being polite. You have a lot of pent up frustration. Let me have it.” So, I did. I told Him I hated my life and I was miserable, and what the hell was going on? Threw in several expletives for good measure. Nothing changed right away, but I sure felt a lot better getting all that stress off my chest. So, the next time you want to vent, take it to God. Don’t hold back.

Once you’re done yelling, He might have something to tell you.

Thanks for reading!