Philip on Life

Quid est veritas? If you have read enough of my articles, you probably already know that I write for the individual. I try to avoid phrases like “society needs to _____”, or “people need to ____”. I try to write in a way that applies to each person as an individual, but would still benefit a group if each person were to apply my suggestions.   The topic of truth is no exception. I am going to explain a mentality I have adopted over the years, and talk about how I have benefitted from it. Maybe you can as well.   A lot of people seem to get very defensive very quickly when their beliefs are challenged. This is particularly true of religion and politics. People have very strong opinions about things and defenses go higher than the questions raised. I have seen people get verbally attacked for simply asking why someone believes certain things.   Other symptoms of this include the countless posts, memes, and articles that mock and belittle a group that holds a different belie...

Let’s talk about Faith. I identify as a Christian. I don’t really talk much about it in person for reasons I don’t feel the need to get into right now, but I grew up in a Christian family and have been one myself since I was five. While fellow Christians may connect more with what I’m going to say, this post is for everyone, so please don’t let its religious connotation deter you. The reason I want to discuss faith in this specific time is because there are 2 aspects of my life that I feel are very relevant right now, and they are both based on a single verse from the Bible. “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6 So, the first thing I want to discuss is trust. Over the last several years now, God has been teaching me how to trust Him, and it has not been easy. Ever since leaving the comfort of doing Security work as a full time job, I ha...

Let's talk about COVID-19. So, normally, I don't post about current events. I like to analyze things, mull it over for a while, and most importantly, process my feelings before sharing my opinions. I am making an exception in this case because I hope to make some points that will help in the here and now during this time of uncertainty. So, first off, let's talk about fear. When I watch a horror movie, I have realized that the scariest parts are when I don't know what the monster is or what it is capable of. Any scene in the dark, a creature that hasn't been revealed, or a serial killer that hasn't been identified is fear inducing. So, how much more terrifying is it when you're living out a scenario you've never dealt with before in real life? The greatest cause of fear in this situation is the unknown. Now, fear manifests itself in different ways. Some people may panic, others may laugh and dismiss the threat, while others may get angr...

Let's talk about beauty. I will make an honest effort to keep this to a short novel because, honestly, I have so many thoughts on this subject, I don't know where to begin. When I say beauty, I also kind of mean attractiveness in general, but since a lot of this post will be about women, I'll keep it as my opener. Needless to say, there is a lot of emphasis on physical attraction. Like, just, a lot. Pick up any magazine and you'll see models with perfect skin, teeth, and hair, promoting something that will make you look fabulous. Pick up any other magazine, and there's an article about how Photoshop is ruining men's perception of women... along with models with perfect skin, teeth, and hair, promoting something that will make you look fabulous. Those articles aren't wrong, but Photoshop is not the problem. The problem (or one of the problems because, complexity) is that men (and women) are being raised with a very superficial perception of ...

Let's talk about freedom. This is a topic I've been mulling over for quite some time and, honestly, I have more questions than answers. So, in spite of the overall tone of this post, my questions are not meant to be rhetorical. So, what is freedom? Are Americans free? Is it really freedom if you're doing something you were given permission to do? These are the questions I struggle with. I live in a country where I can go anywhere I want, I can work for anyone that will hire me, and I can hang out with whoever I want to. As I go about my life, there are very few times that I don't feel free. On the flip side, I also live in a country where it is illegal to collect rain water, you get fined if you're not connected to city power, and other people get to decide how much of my paycheck I keep. In 2014 I was staying with a friend in Downtown LA. I would always park on a street that had meters during the day and free at night. Then one day, I noticed thes...

Let's talk about life. Life can be hard. It can also be amazing. Sometimes, it's just meh. I feel like, due to my profession(s) and personality, I experience the full gamut of what life has to offer. I do freelance work in the entertainment industry, and when it rains it pours, but then it dries up and everything turns to dust. On top of that, I feel all emotions on the high end of the spectrum, so when I'm happy, I'm elated, and when I'm sad, I'm Eeyore. So, needless to say, my life is a roller-coaster of emotions, and sometimes I wish I could turn them off. Here's the thing though, life has seasons. It has a rhythm, and an evolution. The only constant is change, and that can be especially hard to remember when things are difficult. This post is for the downtrodden, the weary, and the hopeless. It's for those who have been struggling and can't seem to catch a break. It's for the dreamers who can't find rest. Nothing lasts forev...

Let's talk about rights. There seems to be this ongoing discussion about what people have the right to say, or what people can and cannot say, and I find it fascinating. Someone says or does something offensive and certain groups are outraged and some say they shouldn't have said it and others try to justify what was said. It's like people feed off the drama, and I don't understand why certain things are so important to some people, but I do get a kick out of watching it unfold. Sometimes. Other times I feel really sorry for the general population who feels like it's their responsibility to correct someone else's "wrongdoing", or make it known how offended they are. It's exhausting. I know because I used to be that guy. Someone would say something incorrect and I would be there to set the record straight. Knowledge must be distributed! Then one day, I decided to keep my mouth shut. Not entirely sure why. Maybe I was feeling experi...

Story time. I pull in to a gas station, swipe my card, and start pumping. Around the amount it's usually full, the pump turns off, but not with the normal click but rather like the pump died. I notice the screen says "pump has been turned off". That's odd. I print my receipt, pull my car into a parking spot and head in to use the restroom. Standing at the door of the store is the cashier, a lady, probably mid 20s, looking rather confused / concerned. She asks me if I was just at pump #3 and I say I was. We start walking into the store together as she is telling me that someone else had just put $30 on pump #3 and that I had stolen her gas and that she would really appreciate it if I paid for the gas that I just stole. I look this lady in the eyes and see 2 things, clear as day. She is terrified, like, a rabbit cornered by a Rottweiler kind of terrified, and "stole" in this context means "unauthorized consumption". As she's talking, t...

Let's talk about the word "need". I find it interesting that the word "want" used to mean "need", and now a lot of people use "need" when they really mean "want". I have had conversations with people about redefining what we actually need in life vs what we just really want. Here are my thoughts. First of all, I think it is important to realize that when we say we need something, we are inherently implying a desired solution to a problem, and we need to identify what the problem is. You may say you need a new car, but what you are seeking is reliable transportation. You may say you need a new pair of shoes, but what you are seeking is to have comfortable feet while maintaining a certain social image. You may say you need food and air, but what you are seeking is to stay alive. All of these examples are valid, however the problem is different in each case. The next time you catch yourself saying that you need something,...

Dear younger me, Where do I begin? There's so much I'd like to say, but I don't know how much of it would make sense without you experiencing everything I have along the way. I guess the most important thing I want to tell you is that your value is not determined by the way people treat you. There are a lot of broken souls out there and they have hurt you and will do so many more times over the years. Choose empathy over anger. Try to understand them, but don't let their behavior make you doubt your self worth. You have a big heart and feel things acutely. Don't shut yourself down. Don't numb the pain. Apathy is not the answer. Also, you're not weird. I mean, you are, but only because you are so aware of yourself and others, you have a hard time fitting into the status quo. This only makes you feel insecure because you haven't yet realized that everyone is a unique individual with quirky personalities, if they allow themselves to be. You have y...

Let's talk about guns. I used to think guns were cool. As a kid I was fascinated by them. I would pretend to be a cowboy and find a branch that somewhat resembled a pistol. As I got older and got to fire a few, I found I had a pretty decent knack for hitting my target. When I bought my first pistol, I realized that I felt nervous holding it, even unloaded. I decided to practice with it until I felt comfortable handling it, and started going to the range on a fairly regular basis. Now I feel confident handling firearms, but what has become paramount to me over the years is gun safety. As an actor / camera operator, I regularly work on sets that use guns, usually fake props but sometimes guns that fire blanks. My biggest pet peeve is seeing guns mishandled. To me, gun safety is an ongoing mind set, and that's true whether it's a real gun or a water pistol. Always treat it like it's loaded, keep it pointed in a safe direction, keep your finger off the trigger until y...

I have a history of depression. I understand it. I have lain in bed craving the peace on the other side, choosing not to act only because I knew the pain it would cause would be greater than the pain I wanted to escape. I know the triggers and I know the coping mechanisms. I know the loneliness, the exhaustion, the fear, and the apathy. My medication is God. Staring out of my window, paralyzed from the heart out, all I can say is "I need you. Help me, please. I need you". I don't get a sudden rush of energy. I don't instantly start to care. What I feel is just a tiny hint of peace. A whisper of assurance that things will get better, that the ache is not eternal. Knowing God is not something that can be described, only experienced. I cannot express in words the joy and relief of taking my worries and giving them to an omnipotent creator who loves me more than I can ever fathom. All I can do is try to demonstrate His love in the hopes that it point people to t...

I have come to believe that one of the biggest issues with social and mainstream media are the constant attacks of a particular group as a whole. When you claim that a political party is hypocritical because the majority said one thing back then and another thing now, you are only serving to further polarize the nation. If an individual is being hypocritical, then you have a case, but only against that one person. One Republican cannot speak for the entire party. One viral meme does not represent all Democrats. I encourage you to stop next time before you like or share something negative about a certain group of people. Ask yourself if it's possible that one of your friends identifies as a member of that group, but does not agree with the majority. Are you comfortable with insulting your friend because of their political affiliation? What if, instead of insulting and demeaning an entire group, we hold individuals accountable for their words and actions? Then you can have ...

Let's talk about love and language. In Spanish, to say you like something, you would say "me gusta". While the words "like" and "gusta" mean the same thing, there is no way to translate it with the correct inflection because in English, the verb is directed at the object whereas in Spanish, you are being affected by the object. A more literal translation of "me gusta" would be "it amuses me" or "it pleasures me" (without the sexual implication). Love, on the other hand, does have the same inflection both in English and Spanish. "I love you" and "te amo" are both directed from you to the other person. I think it's an important distinction. In English, often times, we use "love" as an elevated form of "like". You can walk out of a theater and say you liked the movie or you loved the movie. In Spanish, it wouldn't make sense to say you loved a movie because that word i...

Originally posted on FB on June 20, 2018 I was nine. The water was warm. The sky was clear.... Had it not been, I would be dead. Treading water off the coast of Guatemala, I closed my eyes to focus on swimming. It made sense at the time, but then I opened them and fought panic as I couldn't see the shore. Then I turned and saw that it was behind me. How long had I been out here? I lost track of time over an hour ago. The last time I saw my family, they were sitting on the beach, motionless. Had they not heard my cries for help? Did they think I was already dead? I certainly didn't see anyone trying to rescue me. I couldn't even see the palm trees unless I was raised up by a swell. Exhaustion was setting in. I was alone. This was the end. I decided to take one last breath before sinking to my grave. My lungs filled with air and my eyes closed. I leaned back into my liquid death bed, and there I lay... floating. To my surprise, the water barely came ...