Let's talk about Racism

I believe that words have power. I believe that the words we use to define things and express ourselves are important, therefore I believe that understanding the meaning of the words we are using is important.

 

I believe that we often confuse racism and racial prejudice.

 

To me, there is a huge distinction that needs to be made between the two in order to make progress in racial equality and our relationships. Allow me to explain.

 

I grew up moving back and forth between South Carolina, Florida, and Latin America. The years I lived in SC as a kid, my family attended an all white church and I lived in an all white neighborhood. I really didn’t know many black people. The only times I would see them was when we would drive through a black neighborhood, and those communities were always poor. The economic divide between the white community and the black community was obvious. Sometimes my mom would stop and talk to people in those neighborhoods and I would watch from the car, feeling sorry for the people living in run down houses. I didn’t understand why their communities were like that and I didn’t feel comfortable around them. One day, my mom invited a black man to our church. He was met with awkward stares and forced smiles.

 

Moving to Florida years later, we lived in a town surrounded by five Air Force bases. It was a melting pot of people from all over the US, including people of all races. I didn’t really think about it at the time, but looking back now it seems strange that when I was in SC, I would only hang out with white people, but when I was in FL, I would hang out with a variety of races. It certainly wasn’t a conscious choice. It was just who I knew.

 

So, what was the difference between the black people in SC and the black people in FL? Society. In SC there was obvious segregation and I didn’t feel like I could connect or relate to them. In FL the social construct was so diverse that race was barely even noticed.

 

Human beings naturally feel wary of people they don’t understand and comfortable around those they do. This applies to race, religion, culture, and anything else that makes up someone’s core identity. If you take a Baptist and put him in a church of Jehovah’s Witnesses, they will feel uncomfortable. If you take a white CEO who has never really connected with people of other races, he is probably going to be more comfortable hiring another white man. It’s not about race, it’s about trust.

 

The older I got and the more I moved around, the more comfortable I became being around people that were different than me. I learned to connect with people based on their values and their humanity rather than their religion or ancestry. I became better at finding common ground.

 

Do I think I was a racist at 7 years old in SC? No. I don’t. I think it is easy to make assumptions about people we don’t understand, and if left unchecked, develop biases and prejudices about people and then pass those along to our children. I am very blessed, privileged even, to have grown up around such a diverse group of people. A large number of our children in this country are not having that experience. Is it a coincidence that the parts of the country with the most racial segregation also seem to have the most racial tension? The cities where people almost unanimously condemn racism are also the most racially diverse. I believe it is because, as we interact with each other, we connect as human beings and we understand each other. Whether it’s prejudice or actual racism, I believe the way to deal with it is through community and that’s going to take effort on all sides.

 

Please stop accusing each other of being racist. It has become a blanket accusation for so many things that aren’t actually about a person’s inherent value. You cannot yell loud enough to make people love each other. Connecting on a human level is the only thing that’s going to create community.

 

Unfortunately, community alone does not address the issue of systemic racism. When a judge can sentence a white man to 2 years and a black man to 26 years for the same crime on the same day, that’s not prejudice, that’s racist. When a predominantly white school gets more funding than a predominantly black school, that’s not prejudice either. We must continue fighting for equality in the justice system and the government and we must hold people in office accountable for their actions and inactions. These are not relational issues, these are governmental issues. These are systemic issues.

 

Speaking of Systemic Racism, I keep hearing two opposing arguments that I want to address. A lot of people are countering the issues of Systemic Racism, particularly that of police brutality, by pointing out that there is a lot more black-on-black and black-on-white crime. I have heard a lot of people from both races say that the black community needs to address its own crime, effectively removing the burden of change from the white community.

 

I would like to point out that our white ancestors brought black people here to own as slaves, fought tooth and nail to keep them from having the same rights, underfunded their education, and villainized the black community throughout pop culture. How can we then hold them solely accountable when those centuries of pain and anger manifest themselves through violence? White America put them in a pressure cooker and then complained when they got burned. Both issues are part of the same problem and the only way to resolve it is by lowering our fingers and raising our hands. We all have to be willing to engage in conversation, admit responsibility, and move forward.

 

If nothing else, keep this one thing in mind. The young men and women of today were raised by the people who lived during the Civil Rights Movement. The parents and grandparents of today’s black community had to sit at the back of the bus. I have seen time and time again, both in historical movies and first hand accounts, where a mother tells her son that he has to go take what he wants because the white man isn’t going to help him. I have interacted with so many black people who seem overly demanding and forceful, and I have to remind myself that that’s how they have survived.

 

We have to stand up for each other, both in the courtroom and on the streets. We have to forgive each other and ourselves, and we have to envision the future that we want. That is how we will have true healing.

Please keep in mind that this is only one opinion based on my personal experience. I am constantly trying to grow and expand my understanding. As with all my articles, this is meant to be a conversation starter, not a monologue. Thank you for reading.